First Blog Ever

Hello. This is a blog for my friend James, and to a lesser extent because she didn't actually ask me to do it, my friend Susan, so that they can keep up with what's happening on Neighbours while they go crazy on their New York City holiday. Going on holidays to one of the world's most interesting places is probably going to be fairly rad, but it does mean missing some of normal life's daily highlights, like sticking to the household chores roster, and rushing in to the loungeroom with an early dinner while Neighbours' pre-credits backstory plays. So now James and Susan can totally chillax while they're posing for cliched Times Square photos and hilariously being shouted at by locals that they're in fact walking here, because they'll also be able to check in whether the Zekester's gone the pash yet.

It's a weird time for Neighbours right now, because it's been getting a bit of press about its relatively low ratings, so A CHANGE IS COMING at 630 on July 23. That's a bit concerning. While I generally don't read any interviews or articles about Neighbours, because they often contain unlabelled spoilers, and then for the next six months you're just waiting for whatever it is you read to happen, and tehn when it does it's a real anti-climax and you haven't enjoyed anything as much as you would have if you weren't expecting whatever it was in the first place, and so it's better just to not read articles. Also, most journos write about Neighbours like it's interchangable with Home & Away, and the show hasn't changed since Scott & Charlene moved to Qld, and that ancient attitude can get knotted. But the upcoming changes are intriguing and a little worrying, as they're talking about 'taking Neighbours back to its family-driven roots' and giving the whole show a production, storyline and cast makeover. WTF's that mean? For someone who's been over-enjoying the show for the last few years, I only hope that they keep the good shit, and if there's any indication that the suits think things like Ninja Suse or the Rebecchi-Timmins Boxing Day paint fight have driven down ratings in recent years, then those same suits can get fucked. Sorry, I'm a bit defensive. Whatever your favourite show is, imagine hearing talk that the network needs to change basic elements of it to up ratings, and you'll get an idea of how nervous a time this A CHANGE IS COMING period is. FFS, don't fuck things up. Just dump Boyd and watch the viewers roll back.

Anyways, I'm getting ahead of myself. What happened in Erinsborough last night? The Janae-Ned fledgling romance is wrong for starters. It's just wrong, and Janae's newfound passion for boxing is not much more chop. At least the romance is so far only one-sided, with wet blanket Ned wanting a piece, and last night, with an upcoming boxing match (fixed against Janae we found out, but for some reason she still wants to fight) Ned's taken her away on a fitness boot camp. The real reason for the overnight trip is so that blandy can bring on the love, because so far the fitness regime seems to be running a lot, which strictly speaking could have been done in Erinsborough. But they're at the beach, there's a lot of uncomfortable hints that there might be something going to happen, and eventually Ned sends Janae in for a swim. I want to say here that Janae's a fuckin hottie, and my hott gf P-M has informed me that she'd turn for a piece o that. The fact that Janae is straight and fictional doesn't seem to factor in to her consideration. Nonetheless, Janae heads in, in a sporty black two-piece, and Ned cops an eyeful. Then, proving what a fuckhead he is, Ned decides to cop two more eyefuls of bikini, and stares way too prolongedly at beachtarts. Meanwhile the supposed crush of his gets a cramp in the surf, yells out to cockwit, and disappears under the waves. Then he's all "JANAE! JANAE!" and it's a particularly unexciting cliffhanger to the show.

In other news, Karl and Susan have gone up to Qld to visit Billy & Anne's newborn kid, and I can't remember what they called it, but I'll let you know. Karl and Susan have a lot of holidays.

After little fap-happy Zekester has been busy getting hard over Lolly for a while, she finally admitted last night that she might kinda like sorta you know like him too maybe, and they went on a date, like a proper date, to teh movies. Lou slapped on some uncharacteristic and pantomime-strength Angry Dad, leaning over Zeke and Ringo, being all >:( GRRRRRRRR! while they were all intimidated "Hummina-hummina" stuttering and shit. I love the zany OTT antics they go on with sometimes, but Lou was too much last night. If that's all he's got left to offer the show, and since he's stopped being called "Loubear" he's had little else, then maybe it is time to put ole Lou out. I hope not, but unless he comes up with the shonkiest get-rich-quick scheme of his life pretty soon, he's just hanging around like those leftovers in the fridge you don't want to throw out cos the original meal was so damn good, but seriously, they've been sitting there for a week and a half now, and it's time.

There might have been some Carmella and Oliver stuff too, but I wouldn't have noticed because I would have been asleep. Man, they gotta sort that shit out quick. One scene - Carmella announces she's got a new job co-hosting Video Hits, so that she can leave but Channel Ten don't lose their inexplicably popular face, and Oliver says 'Oh well, goodbye' as quick as his brother Will did. Elle gets evil again, and crazy shit goes down like you wouldn't believe!!! Good plan.

Oh, and in the biggest news, it looks like finally there might be an end to Sky coming up pretty damn soon. She's been up visiting Dyl on Hamilton Island or somewhere, and reports that he's settled in really well, and Kimbo and Dyl are really close. That's great news for Dyl, but a bit shit that we won't be getting him back. Dylan in himself wasn't the best character, and by far the weakest regular Timmins, but he's been missed, especially considering that in the giant cast makeover earlier this year we got rid of Lynn, Oscar, Max, Will, Katya, Stinger and Dyl, but kept fkn Boyd, Sky and Ned, who's almost left but then hasn't at least twice now. It's like they keep writing him out but he's so dumb and offensively nice that he just turns back up to work to the next Monday, and everyone's looking at each other but nobody's got the heart to tell him to fuck off. So anyway, Sky has said that she enhoyed her time up at the Island so much that she'll probably move up there permanently, because she owes it to Kerry to have her Dad in her life. It's only a couple of years too late, as she should have left the week after she changed from alternative music-blogging lesbo-experimenting fringe-culture poster girl to the skank-a-dank-dank short-denims-&-knee-high-uggies slurry she is now, but I really hope this is the end of Sky Mangel. Her character honestly died a couple of years ago, and there's just been an increasingly-overacting unreasonably-gullible big-tittied corpse in her place. Bye.

And other plots just keep on raising their heads. Here's a shock revelation - there's a bloke in Erinsborough Hospital with Stinger's heart. He got a transplant, and somehow found out who the donor was, and said "G'day, thanks for yer son's heart, hey missee!" to a bit of a distraught Janelle last night. It's a bit weird, but we'll see where it goes. Everyone you'd expect is going crazy over it (Janelle, Sky) or being reasonable about it (Bree <3) but there's no real clear direction the story's gonna go in yet.

Updates as they come to hand. Thanks for reading. James and Susan leave for NYC on Friday this week, so I hope to have things blogging smooth by then you guys. Cheers.