Dazed And Transfused

I might have to start taking notes as I watch Neighbours, cos I have a feeling I miss out all the best stupid lines in these blogbacks. Nonetheless, let's have a quick rip through what happened last night. There was sex and drugs and... near car rolls. Ooh, good one. Except there weren't actually any drugs. I'm just trying to make each day's intro different. I won't any more. Sorry.


Last night we left as Oliver and Elle were pashing in a Lassiter's hotel room, and Ringo was careening like a crazy all outta control n shit. The inevitable happened in both situations. Rooting and a crash. Due to the CHANGE not having happened yet, which I assume will start the introdution of increasingly revealing nudity and sexual content, there was no rut vision, but we know Oliver and Elle did it, cos they were wearing Lassiter's robes afterwards, and looking a bit "Should we have done that?" They arrived at the conclusion that no, they probably shouldn't have, but it was so good who cares, and while we're at self-fooling, why does Carmella have to know about this, we're not doing anything wrong, and it would only hurt her, so let's keep this quiet. It's weird, I quite enjoyed the secret affair part of the show last night, but as soon as I try to remember what Oliver and Elle said to each other it just fades into a grey static. The more we see of Oliver, the less exciting he is. Eventually, thinking Elle's in the room crying over last night's fight with her Dad, Paul and Gail knock on the door to console their poor daughter. A quicksticks change back into civilised garb, and Elle opens the door with a "THANKS FOR COMING TO CONSOLE ME OLIVER, BUT I'LL BE FINE NOW THANKYOU VERY MUCH JUST FRIEND", and Oliver looks at the ground and runs out of there like nothing's up at all. It's funny to see Elle purposefully bad acting, cos it just comes across as a reasonable Ned impression. Paul and Gail aren't as stupid as Ned looks though, and knew exactly what was going on. Gail kinda called them both on it later, Don't hurt my girl/Don't be suckered in by a goodlooking dickhead talks allround, and that was that, it's all still a bit unresolved, as this storyline seems determined to be.

That was the sex. The car roll was courtesy Ringo, who gave us a better look at the Streets Of Erinsborough than anyone, courtesy his 100kph sook. Yesterday Carmella had told him she doesn't think they should be close any more, she fired him, withdrew her friendship, and, in a move she would soon regret, stopped giving him driving lessons. Biggest mistake ever. Ringo , all uted up in Carmella's stolen vehicle, was hooning around corners, making the tyres go SCREEEECH, there was probably some smoke I imagine, and if there had been a single person on the side of any of these streets, they would have been very :-O! But there wasn't, so they weren't. Poor Ringo was feeling like shit and crying, and... oh gees, is that Karl and Susan on the road ahead?! Turn turn turn turn regret regret screech slide bang clunk omg are you alright?!!? In his grief, Ringo had driven straight to the now Timmins owned garage. Karl and Susan had just finished a meal at Grease Monkeys, a place they never eat at, and Karl hated the burger, but the business had just conveniently pledged sponsorship to the school blogzine, so it was very poor luck that it was at the very moment of Ringo's tantrum that Susan feel a partonage obligation. Anyway, he crashed the ute pretty bad, but Karl and Susan were fine, and although Ringo couldn't say "I'm fine! Get off me I'm fine!" enough, he clearly wasn't, clunked against teh steering wheel, bleeding, and apparently doing a fair bit of damage to his legs. Possibly on purpose, as Stage 4 of his older brother hero worship. Karl slipped back into Doctor mode until the ambo arrived, and Ringo asked them not to tell Rachel, although I'm not sure that's really a reasonable request. At the hospital (where he was almost certainly given drugs, justifying my introduction more than it deserves) they said he'd done a bit of damage, lost a bit of blood, got a few scratches, but there's nothing longterm wrong with Ringo, except for being a bit of a doofus. For the record, his blood type's B+, the same as Frazer who immediately rolled up his sleeve and begged someone to bleed him dry for his little bro. Carmella was also there, apologetic about how she treated him, but still sure that her decision was right.

The 20-something gang got there, cos Susan rang Frazer from the crash site, and they all jumped in the Cripmobile and rolled to EH. Previous to this though, and this is where nextday blogging is a must, Frazer and Rosie were having some good attitude-changing talks about his parents and the dead Paul revelation. Details in my memory are sketchy though, all apologies NYers. It was pretty much Frazer being very determined that he was going to his parents' place, and going to confront them about brother Paul, and wasn't going to take "No comment" for an answer. Rosie was determined with him. It was actually a bit piddly, and they had to make do with some of the weakest writing on Neighbours for ages, but it was F&R, so it was great nonetheless.

What I haven't mentioned much is the ongoing and growing hints that Karl's headed back to doctor duty. Along with diagnosing Lou's dingleberries and Kerry's rash the other day, Susan has been pushing everyone to help convince Karl he should be Dr K again. A coupla nights ago Bree said she was having trouble sleeping, and he asked a few questions about her diet, found out she was drinking coke before bed at night, and advised she have a mug of warm milk instead. "Thanks Karl, I'll do that!" as Bree and Susan looked at each otehr smugly and conspiratorially. If I'd been a well-respected GP for 25 years or so, and my wife thought I could be convinced to re-enter the profession because I recommended warm milk over coke for bedtime drinks, I'd feel about as partonised as a human being can. But Karl's an ego man, so laps up the well dones like a thirsty Bob. The ambo officer last night, after he'd treated Ringo at the scene was very impressed with his handywork too, and asked "Are you a doctor?" "No" he said, but with that uncertainty that you know it's gonna change back soon. Which is good, cos this Davo job hasn't worked out well at all, and all the Susan's-me-slut-sister jokes have run their course.

The episode ended with Paul and Gail back at home on the couch at home, talking, getting along really well and generally being a comfortable couple. Paul brings up the possibility of a future together, Gail says she can't, he doesn't know the pain he's caused, she can't just start afresh, she has to go home to Tassie, etc etc, but then the episode ends with a pash. Cool.