Four Neighbours In One Day

Sorry for the utter slackness this week loyal readers, but I've had the shitty stupid flu, then when I got back to work I was in fairly decent trouble for not doing work stuff at work, like, ever, so blogging has kinda been taken down a priority notch or 2, and I apologise. Instead of trying to do each episode this week so far, and that's Mon-Thurs, I'll just run you through the highlights of each character/plot this week. Then I'll try to be gooder for you in the future. Sorry again, especially considering there's only one week after this one til the big CHANGE. Crikeys.

Tom, as in Karl's Dad, not Susan's priestbossloverprick, has been a focus of this week. You'll remember he's got the dementias, and is pretty non-lucid most of the time, or at least, not operating in the same dimension as everyone else, as he calls Zeke Karl, thinks he's back on the farm, and it's 1960 or so. He's staying at K&S's place, but there's got to be someone there to look after him at all times, and that's obvioulsy a little hard. Rachel was looking after him earlier this week, but he seemed okay, even quite lucid, realising he was in Karl & Susan's place, that he'd been calling Zeke the wrong name, and that he had dementia and it must be hard on them all. He was 100% with it, so as Rachel spilled her guts about troubles in paradise with her bf (more later) he told her to shuffle next door to work it all out, he was right. She did. He wasn't. Fkn Tom has an argument with Audrey, can't work out how to turn the tele down or off, and goes to make a cuppa, 'cept he makes the old dementia person's #1 folly of putting the electric kettle on the stove. Jeepers. Then he makes the old dementia person's #461 folly of thinking he has to dip the sheep when he's really in the city 40 years later, so he vamooses outta there, and there's obviously a fire. There was talk, with the CHANGE and all, that everything was going to have a makeover, including the sets, so I thought maybe this was gonna be a real house fire that meant the place had to be rebuilt, but I was just being over-paranoid, as all it did was smoke a shitload and blacken the bench a bit. Racehl and Ringo discovered it in time, but Karl went off at Rachel for being irresponsible, which she was, but he was fairly harsh. Anyways, they still had to find Tom, and they did, standing in the middle of the road telling cars to get off his property and yelling "Bloody council!" He was alright, but the decision was made he needs 24 hour attention, and despite Zeke andRachel for some reason saying that they could do it, Karl scouted around and found a nursing home waiting list for his Dad in Eden Hills. The swish part of town. A lot's happening in these scenes without much happening, in that Karl and his Dad's relationship is being explored and explained, and some of the things Tom says to Zeke are hurtful or sweet towards Karl, and it's really well done. Even though he's on a waiting list ("Shouldn't take too long for a spot to come up though" says a hopeful Karl, meaning he's sending his Dad to a home where he's hoping people die pretty regularly) they decided to put on a See You Later Tom In Case You Don't Remember To Not Eat A Electricity Sandwich Or Something party, so a coupla old blokes (Harold & Lou) come over, and they listen to the old 45s, and talk about when the world was simpler and black & white and Tom has a mental trip through history complaining about the current Prime Minister (first Menzies, then, oh no, he's gone isn't he, oh Fraser...) and being a real communist. I didn't remember, but my hott gf did, that Tom was actually a Communist, and this is proved when he's ragging on all the old Liberal PMs, and Rachel says "Yeah, if I was old enough, I'd vote Labor" and Tom tells her to wash her mouth out, it's the red flag for him all the way, and then sings a Communist anthem. Wow. I love the backstories on Neighbours, but that seems really... just a bit weird. So at this stage Tom's still staying with the K-Ks as long as it takes to get him into a closer home, and they might get a nurse in to help.

Frazer & Rosie's wedding is getting closer, and they each have a few things going on too. After Pepper saw his foot tapping along at a wedding dance rehearsal, she did the manic "OMG I saw what happened and if you don't tell Rosie I will" "I'll tell her at the right time"... very reminiscent of the George Brown revelation. Anyways, he told her that his foot had moved a coupla times, in a very straightforward manner, and she was happy, and that was it. They had a few drinks down the Scarlet B... sorry, Charlie's to celebrate, where THORN had overtaken Steph's SEGA bike record again. This THORN just keeps beating her score, but Steph never sees anyone unusual playing it, so what's going on? Steph's accusation that girls can't ride like that, and a bet later, and it's revealed that THORN is in fact Rosie, who used to play the same game in breaks at uni. As a result of winning the bet, Frazer gets $100 off Toadie, and Steph has to dress in leg warmers, leotards etc and sing an '80s power ballad at the wedding. There are a lot of pop culture references here, like a shitload, and Boyd, in his only scene so far this week, thank fuckitty, says "I'll download a list of '80s power ballads off the internet!", cos he doesn;t know any, like a real fkn tosswit. A few names are thrown around, Every Rose Has Its Thorn, I Wanna Know What Love Is, Total Eclipse Of The Heart, and the entire Toto catalogue, but I don't think we know what Steph's settled on. I'm hoping for Suddenly by Angry Anderson - it's worked before. Briefly, the Toad & Steph storyline hasn't gone much anywhere this week - she's still running for council, he;s still heping her, they probably mucked around a bit, but nothing extraordinary.

So Frazer & Rosie are all in love n stuff, but as always, there are familial complications, this time by Rosie's Dad, Rocco, the first Camenitti we ever met, probably about 5 or 6 years ago now. He's still doing time in the big house, but he rings Rosie, who promptly hangs up on him. Frazer's a bit "Hey he's your Dad... and you made me get in contact withmy jerkass parents" so they go and visit him. He wants to walk Rosie down the aisle, and can apply for day release on compassionate grounds - Rosie chucks a spack that he's got some nerve, Frazer talks to him man-to-man, he doesn't think much of Mr Yeates, but eventually F gets R to agree, on the condition that he bahves himself, doesn;t try anything cunning-like. Rosie's sure he's gonna try to escape or something, and it'll be very disappointing if she's wrong. That Rocco is a tricky one.

Earlier in the week there was a bit of focus on Oliver too. Last week I forgot to mention, because that's what you do with Oliver, that Elle had given him the results of the DNA test to see if Alan Napier was his grandad or not, and his parents not really. I think he burned them without looking at them, but Paul saw him burning something, Oliver did his world's-least-convingly-liar act, and later when he did the same act to Elle who was asking about the result, Paul added it all together. So against both Ollie-wollie and good Paul's wishes Elle used the services of one of Paul's old dodgy acquaintances to ask some questions, do some looking around. They got his birth certificate, but it's got his supposed parents' names on there, so they had to have bought/adopted/stolen/whatevered him pretty darn early. Napier's got 2 kids, a son and a daughter, so if he is Napier's grandkid, one of them is his parent. Oliver tracked down the son, who slammed th door in his face, and then reopened it once Oliver hit it hard enough, and then talked to him. I'd be more inclined to talk to someone the less they'd smashed the shit out of my door, but nonetheless. He's not Ollie's dad, but he said his sister could be his Mum. She disappeared for a while around (Oliver's age) years ago and something else, I dunno, but look, she could be it. Except he doesn;t know where she lives, and even if he did, he wouldn;t tell Oliver - she bad news, and she'll only bring you heartache and misery. That sort of thing. So Oliver doesn;'t know where he stands, and we don't really care much.

Onto the next characters, why not Ringo and Carmella. Yep, not Ringo and Rachel. They split up, actually when Rach went next door, leaving Tom to start a fire. Turns out Ringo does have the hotts for Carmella, and guess what? It's mutual!!! OMG! Well kinda. They've been practising dancing together for the wedding, and that's led to a lot of staring in each other's eyes, and this climaxed early in the week when they did a fruit run together. Ringo's fired from her business, but there was some buyer who didn't like the skinny one, so Ringo had to tell them he'd bought the business off her and fired her so they'd give the company heaps of money. Therefore, for the delivery, it had to be Ringo driving, with Carmella, in the car cos he's on his Ls, hiding ingeniously under a blanket in the front seat of the ute, peeking out to see what was going on, which of course you'd have to if there was a fruit-for-money transaction going on. I mean who wouldn't want to see that?! It all goes well, the ute is parked in the front yard of this Carmella-hating buyer's farm or whatever, and then there's one of the worst conceived premises in recent history - before they drive off, they're taking about dancing, and so Ringo drags her out of the car and they have a waltz. In the field. Next to the ute. The same ute that only a minute ago Carmella had to hide under a blanket in. Now the people who hate Carmella are probably looking out their window saying "WTF? There's that bitch we won't buy fruit off, dancing with the bloke who sacked her and took all our fruit money, in our front yard! WTF is happening?!?" As anyone who's seen popular culture before knows, spontaneous dancing always leads to gazing into each others' eyes, and an admittance that they <3 each other. That doesn't happen here, at least not yet, and that might have more to do with Ringo's amazingly zitty complexion than anything. Wow, he's very spotty indeed, even with the obvious makeup. His zits aren't just red n white dots, they're very bumpy too, so the term Crater Face doesn't apply so much as Olgas Face. Anyways, Carmella doesn't feel like Ringo, so after coming very close to some liptimacy (intimacy of the lips, new word I'm trying out) she does the brush off and they drive home. Ringo dumps Rachel and confronts Carmella about it later, but she denies that she wanted to kiss him as much as the other way around, and he's just a boy. Proving she's right, he comes up with a romantic plan, that he's going back to that padock where they nearly smacked on, and she should meet him there, and he knows she will. He hops a lift with a truckie and eventually gets pretty bored inthe paddock. He's right though, cos Carmella does realise he makes her happy and follows him there, but she parks round behind a tree (trees are forcefields: can't see utes behind their foliage) and watches him filling in time by throwing sticks at other sticks, and maybe the ground. Then she goes home. not sure if she realised he is too young for her, or she realised she doesnt like him at all, or if she was unimpressed with Ringo's arm movement, but she scarpered anyway, and I think that's where we are with those 2.

Who's left we haven't spoken about... Oh fkn Sky. She hasn't been in it much, shouldn;t be at all, and was briefly in it tonight as she and Caleb continued to bond and say how much they each meant to each other. What-evaa. Caleb asked Harold's permission to ask her out, which is probably a bit cute, and really spastic, and he pressed all the right buttons, so he's in with Harold. He's finished the Stinger wall but it's night time, so we'll probs see it tomorrow, after their date. I don't care.

I think it was early this week that Paul, buoyed by last week's visit to the local footy with Ned & Mickey, took Harold and Lou with him to a game. The 3 of these guys hanging around is pretty awesome, and it ended with Paul accidentally throwing something, maybe a pie, at a security guard. One by one Lou and Harold stood up for Paul, until all 3 of them were kicked out, in a forgettable but enjoyable enough scene. After Harold's Baby Shower behaviour, he's turning into quite the security risk. I'm actually a bit worried about Harold, and his continuation with the show. We know they're having a massive cast change, and last week ended with the possibility that up to 5 of the mains, and 5 of the best too, migth be going (more on that very soon), and I've talked up my belief that Sky, Boyd and Lou might all be moving on too, but last night Harold mentioned to Lou how he's lonely, and he's still got a thing with Loris whenever she gets back, and if the Timminses are moving to Cairns, and Loris might go with them, it's feasible Harold could go too, presuming Sky's gonna move on as well. FFS, Harold Bishop cannot leave Ramsay Street, he would be very missed. I had a really bad feeling about this last night, just that they might be working up towards that. I guess with the Timmins shock, I've realised nobody is safe, even stalwarts, but throughout all this cast-change I could have sworn that at the very least, Susan, Karl, Harold and Toadie would be safe, being essentially iconic characters that a show can't afford to lose. What, they'll get rid of Toadie to bring in another Taj or Jack? Who? See. But in my heightened state of uncertainty, a few things Harold has said has made me wonder if maybe he's due to fly the coop. Fuck I hope not. He's part of the heart of Neighbours, and although his character is often just taking the piss out of what the character is and played for cheap laughs, or is a nosey annoyance, a lot of the most touching scenes ever can tip from tears-welling-up to total wet cheeks just from the look on Harold's face, and thinking what the old guy's been through. I really really hope he's safe, because if Harold's not, anything could go including the suburb and street. It could end up in Yabby Creek for all we fucking know. *scared*

Not much else on Paul and Elle, in fact I don't remember much at all. They had a bit of interaction with Ned and Mickey staying at their place, and some of the Oliver storyline, but nothing else leaps to mind. Ned and Mickey, menwhile were quiet at the start of the week, but come Wed & Thurs, they were all action go. At least Mickey's bladder was. He wets the bed. Gold. (Not intended pun there, but if you think it's funny, I'll take intention for it.) Paul gets up on Wed morn to find Mickey rinsing his sheets etc in the laundry. "I...errr... split orange juice on them". Good one. Paul, being a good guy, plays along, and tells Mickey he'll do a load of washing, and warns Ned what's happened. New to being a Dad and all, boxhead should still know better than to respond with a groan and threatening "Where is he?", so Paul tells him it's cool, don't embarrass the little tacker, he's probably just stressed. "Stressed? What's he got to be stressed about?" Yeah, good point, new Dad, why the fuck would this kid be unsettled at all? But instead of putting it down to the fact that he's just left his home, his Mum's abandoned him, he's just found out he's got a Dad who's just found out he's got a son, and they've been living at his old home, then a stranger's house, then a hotel, now a stranger's house again within the space of about 3 weeks, and everything the poor kid owns in the world appears to be 2 changes of clothes and a dog, Paul puts it, correctly it turns out, to the fact that Janae's leaving Erinsborough. On Wed night, this was pretty much the first thing we'd heard all week about Friday's ENORMOUS development - that 5 of the main characters (even before Steiger got his well desrved opening credits slot :'( ) are probably moving to Cairns. Until Thurs night it's been a largely Janelle/Steiger/Bree free week, and despite my reasonings last week as to why they couldn;t do it, it's become pretty apparent now that's it's more than likely happening, and really soon, maybe as early as tomorrow night. Ok, I was holding out on these developments, but that's where we've arrived so I'll run through it. On Friday it was suggested that Janelle, Steiger, Janae, Bree and Pepper would move to Cairns to be clsoe to Bree's real family and Anne's kinda one. Also, Dyl's only 90mins away, and the 2 other older Timmins boys, who in one of the show's major tragedies it appears we will now not get to meet, can visit them easier from Brisbane (they're here!!), although as a Brisbanian, I would suggest it's probably closer, cheaper and eaier to visit Melb than Cairns anyway. This was completely out of the blue, and a complete kick in the nuts for anyone who loves the Timminses and thinks that they've rejuvinated the show, making new families who move in not necessarily tryhards and awkwardly acted newcomers, but took the show by storm, and each Timmins made a really fkn great mark - Stinger, then Janelle, Bree, Janae and even Dylan and Kimbo. They are the funnest faimly I've seen on Neighbours, and in honesty, one of the best I've ever seen on tele, piss funny but really close and defensive for each other. I dunno, I love them. Then on Friday last wek is the announcement, hey we've just had one die and anothe leave, why don't we all? And we'll take the pretty great Steigers with us too! So this week we find out Pepper's not going. She's satying (and missing Adam, but not much on that really, except Lou gave her Adam;'s watch he left behind at the General Store), and while she's my 5th favourite out of the 5 suggested leavers, I'm still very glad she's staying. So phew there. The only other one that looks like staying, however, is Janae, because of her burgeoning, still unspoken relationship with Ned, and now Mickey. All of a sudden, from last Thursday hoping for Janae's sake she avoids any contact with deadheadned, now she's just gotta fall for the adorable lunk, she just HAS to. If getting with Ned is the only way for Janae to stay, then ok.

New paragraph here just to break things up.

So Mickey's wetting the bed because Janae's leaving. Because Janae and Ned both have to work (garage and... how does he make money?), they take Mickey to childcare, which is being run in the school holidays by Pepper, conveniently enough. It's here that Mickey draws a coupla of great pictures. The first one we don't really see is of his dog Jake peeing on a tree. Pepper really likes it, but then so do a gang of 90cm tall bullies. They want to see the picture of Jake peeing on the tree, and who wouldn't, but they rip it, and Mickey gets upset. So upset, in fact, that he pisses his dacks again. When Ned gets there, he's outraged, and seriously wants to know which little kid made him do it, and is about to go the little twerp. Honestly, he wants to bash a kid. Fuckhead. Then the kid's Dad steps in, all tatts and attitude and sleeveless flannie, and I could smell the cigarette and VB from my loungeroom. Although could have just been my hott gf. Anyways, Ned decides it's better to blue him instead, but thanksfully Janae's there to calm him down and tell him he's stupid. They are for all purposes a functioning couple, but Ned's got to tell her that before she leaves for Cairns with the rest of her awesome family who should not for any reason be going. Especially Bree. That's fucked. Anyway, in keeping with this blog's briefness, Mickey gives Janae a picture he drew, not of a urinating dog, but of Janae and a house and maybe him, I dunno, but it has written on it DONT GO JANAY I LOVE YOU AND I WILL MISS YOU XXX or something as adorable, and Mickey is definitely a good choice for a cute kid you wouldn't want to just ship off to Boystown or something, and Janae gets to thinking... That's a good sign.

That was all last night. Tonight (Thurs) was finally the big boxing match between Janae and the ugly girl who tried to get Janae to not fight a few weeks ago, cos it was set up so the other girl would win, although in that case why did she want her opposition to stand down? Not sure. Anyways, Janae's in blue, Killer's in red, and they fight. Ned's in her corner, and Janelle, Stegier, Bree and Sky are all there to cheer her on. "Just jab in the first round" Ned warns Janae. She does, and is doing well, and then she doesn't, and she doesn't do well, and gets knocked down. The ref, who could also be a leprecaun, I'm not sure about that, announces in his funny highpitched midgetesque voice 1,2,3,4... and Janelle's screaming for Ned to throw in the towel, but Janae gets back up and scuffles around some more. I find boxing matches very boring, and even though it;s Janae tonight, I still kinda don't care, but baically, she ends up diopng really well, and the decision has to come down to points. Killer wins, but everyone agrees Janae did really well, and Ned tells her she's awesome. She says he's alright too. They still don't get together. Paul's been counselling Ned to tell Janae how he feels ever since the move announcement, and Steiger's been having a word in Janae's ear about the same thing, although she still hasn't admitted how she feels, and even though earlier in the episode Mickey pleaded with her not to go, and Ned dropped hints he wants her to stay, things are still unsaid.

Harold's played a bit of a role also in the Timmins thing, knowing Loris's secret about swapping Anne and Bree as babies, and struggling with whether he should tell them or not. Sky rants on about something that I don't listen to, and he goes around to return a pasta bake dish, and maybe tell them, he;s still unsure. However, by this stage (still pre-boxing) Anne has already come clean to Bree and Janae, and they've taken it pretty well really. They corner Harold and tell him not to tell Janelle - she'd never forgive Loris, and she;s happy now for the first time in ages and this would make her not happy, and she deserves to be happy, so don't tell her. Harold agrees to leave it in their capable hands, and maybe for the last time, we have an awesome scene with Janae and Bree just being sisters, talking about something unrelated and serious but hitting each other in the face with the fuzzy sleeves of a fake fur coat (because everyone's packing for the move). It's just sweet and by now I have come to realise that at the very least, Bree is leaving, and my heart's a ltitle bit sore. Steiger also makes me very very sad that he didn't even officially get a regular character status, and Janelle leaving is just bullshit. There was a nice scene with Rachel and Susan on Wed night, Rachel making Bree a memory box with stuff to remember them by, and Susan saying how they'll be right without the Timminses, but things will certainly be quiet, and both of them looking so damn sad. I was very glad that when I was all teared up and my hott gf looked over, she was in a similar state. Losing the Timminses is a sad move.

Anyway, Thursday nigth wraps up after the boxing match, and the Timmins/Steigers are talking about Janae finding a new trainer in Cairns, no offence Stretch, and Ned walks off. Janae then says 'No', adn Janelle says 'Oh, we'll find you a trainer you like, don't worry', and Janae says 'No, I'm not going to Cairns'. Bringing Ned back and putting him and Janae together was the best idea Neighbours ever had. Bless Ned Parker and all of his interesting plots and wonderful personality traits. He's making Janae stay. So much damn <3 for that girl. But no more than for Bree. They keep saying they're going to see how they like Cairns, maybe just for 6 months or somehting, but that's never good news in a soapie. I will keep any goodbye episodes for you, James, cos saying goodbye to Bree Timmins is something you shouldn't miss. Definitely one of this decade's finest fictional characters, even though she specifically feels like more than that.

That's us up to date, and I'll try to do dailies again from now on. Sorry for the nothing, nothing, nothing, TOO MUCH, approach.